Today I’m getting a bit personal. High time you say? High time indeed.
Let’s see, where to start. Well, for one, I got laid off recently, so for the first time since high school, I’m unemployed. As you can imagine this has messed with my head a bit, but we’re not going to delve into that right now. Maybe someday. On the surface, I look pretty put together. I told myself I was going to concentrate on the blog, work on graphic design, boost my traffic, get more involved in social media and make my blog work for me. All this while finishing up my employment, being pregnant and already not sleeping through the night.
And that’s what I did. I switched to WordPress, I committed to blogging more often, learning about marketing, social media, ad monetization and networking. Sounds great, right? But somewhere along the way, I lost myself, my voice, my funny. Ironically, it was when I was revamping old posts for SEO that I realized I used to be funny. Not really HAHA funny, but I cracked myself up reading about chugging wine. Apparently, I used to drink wine?! Granted, it was 12:30am when I was reading it, so I was probably cuckoo anyways, but I saw something there that I feel like I’ve lost track of.
Has that ever happened to you? You get on this single track and you think you’re super woman and you’re focused, but then you forget to look around at your surroundings and realized you’ve arrived someplace you didn’t necessarily want to be?
So now, I just feel lost. I mean, What am I doing here? Who AM I? Do I sound crazy or is it all in my head? Let me tell ya, between
1. the pregnancy brain where your brain cells just dribble out of your ears,
2. the anxiety about having another infant and trying to get everything ready without having family around,
3. the deep dark scary issues regarding SAHM that I avoid thinking about,
4. and the background noise of dealing with J’s daily temper tantrums,
this one square foot of real estate I call my head is a completely uncontrolled madhouse.
Surprisingly, with the so-called water up to my eyeballs, I haven’t actually considered quitting or even stepping back from blogging, which is my usual method of “Dealing with it” – otherwise known as the “panic and run the other way” method. I’m sure that subconsciously, this all has to do with my identity crisis of no longer being an engineer and a financially independent woman. But I can’t run away from this problem, and if you can’t run away, you can only face it head on!
And that, my friends, according to Super Why (J’s favorite show right now), is my super big problem! Now, what do to about it?
I saw this question in an article somewhere – “What are your blog goals, and what can your blog do for others?” Did that make you stop in your tracks like it did to me? At first glance, it seems to channel a bit of JFK, you know, what you can do for your country and all, but it’s pretty appropriate to someone who’s trying to find her focus and her voice. And I can tell you right now, that voice is not as easily found as the Hot Wheels car under the sofa that you can just hook out with your big toe. This one requires thought, and thought is what I’m least capable of right now – see above RE: brains dribbling out.
My 3 step plan to getting my groove back:
1. Why I blog, and where I want to go with it
2. My blog voice
3. What can my blog do for you?
This is where I’d love to have your input! Obviously, I have to figure out why I blog and where I want to go with it, but you can help with Step 3 – what can my blog do for you? What posts do you like or dislike? Are there posts you’d like to see more of? To help you help me, I’ve put together a quick little survey with multiple choice answers because well, multiple choice is easier than essay forms. As an added little bonus, I’ve even created a printable that you can download once you complete the survey.
So, can you help me out? I’d love to see what y’all have to say! I miss a lot of the reader interaction via comments lately – I’m not sure if it’s a trend because Google reader went away or what, so I hope we can start up some great discussions! Especially now that I can break open a bottle of wine again! 🙂