I don't normally write about my faith, as in, I have not yet written about my faith, but I am going to try to share a bit of the deep stuff today.
I read Vanessa's guest post on Simply Klassic Home last week, and the one line that really got to me was this:
Will you allow the pain to deepen your relationship with God and with others?
I had just gotten some bad news about my dad, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I felt overwhelmed and scared and faced with a future that I didn't ever want to face. I felt alone, and didn't know to whom to turn. Prayer seemed empty and just not enough. I wished that I had a strong church family to support my family in prayer, for a brother or sister in Christ to talk to about my fears.
I've been a bit of a prodigal daughter, not having gone to church in several years, and this news strengthened my resolve to get going already (and to *finally* check off a resolution)! God is talking to me; He is making His presence known. He is testing me and my family, yet also allowing me a chance to come home, to rekindle my relationship with Him.
I spent some time talking to a good friend of mine and found a kindred spirit. I found in myself a desire to share my thoughts on faith and the wondrous things God has done in my life. I discovered an aspect of my friend that I hadn't known before, and it has brought us closer.
Last Sunday, I went to the church for the first time in years. I was scared of judgment, I was embarrassed, I was nervous at meeting new people. But it turned out so well! I met with the pastor and found someone with whom I can share my fears and my hopes. Surprisingly, I have also gotten back in touch with people from whom I had distanced myself due to life's little dramas. I felt awkward, but also joyful and full of hope at a chance to rekindle relationships with past friends as well as with God.
So yes, there is pain. But there is also hope.
Did I mention He is making His presence known to me? From blog posts to daily verses on my Kindle, to good friends and new friends and new old friends, God really does work in mysterious and miraculous ways!
There is so much to be thankful for! For the wonderful treatment my father has received, for all of our friends' and families' and strangers' support through this time, for another chance to welcome God into my life.
My father is undergoing surgery and I pray for his health, for strength and for faith. I pray that the doctors are guided by a higher hand, that they do their jobs to the best of their ability. If you are of the spiritual sort, please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers!